a heart that adores Him...

Southern Weddings!

2012-02-01T15:58:00.000-05:00

Our wedding has been featured in Southern Weddings Magazine!

Check it out here and here.

I loved our day, but I'm excited to find out that others do, too!!

Video is in!!

2011-12-22T02:32:00.001-05:00

Take a look at our wedding video! Stuart Atkins did an amazing job capturing our day!
http://stuartatkins.wordpress.com/2011/12/22/forrest-turner-a-beachside-celebration/

Photos are in!

2011-12-12T15:43:00.001-05:00

My photos from the wedding are in, and I adore them!!

Take a look...

http://www.stephendevriesweddings.com/gallery/index.php?album=Forrest+%26+Turner%2Fwedding

Mrs. Eleazer!

2011-12-06T16:15:00.000-05:00

I am married and couldn't be happier! Living with a boy has been nothing but fun so far! My husband is the most wonderful man, and I am just so thankful the Lord picked Him out for me.

Here are a few shots from my photographer ( Steven Devries Weddings: http://www.stephendevrieschronicles.com/forrest-and-turner-sneak-peek/ ). He did an amazing job capturing our wedding. Can't wait to see the rest!

another.

2011-08-29T15:28:00.000-04:00

Another best friend of mine (http://www.hannahkateflora.com/) got engaged this weekend, and I couldn't be more excited to get to walk through this season of life together. Her fiance put this video together, and I just had to share it...

Can't wait for the Dallas wedding of Mr and Mrs Lance Villio!

little touches...

2011-08-15T12:46:00.003-04:00

Here are a few details I am pumped about for our wedding. I am so excited about these that I just have to share them...

Photographer:

Bob Miller

http://www.theholybonds.com/

Bridesmaid Shoes:
The girls are wearing a one-shoulder short navy dress with these...

Rehearsal Band and Venue:
Modern Eldorados (http://www.themoderneldorados.com) and
Oak Hallow Farm

Avril Walker Earrings:

http://www.avrildesigns.com/bridal.html

Groomsmen ties:

Not the exact color we want, but you know to expect something with a GATOR on it!

Drink of Choice:

Mason Jars filled with lemonade and Sweet Tea Vodka

That's it for now... can't give away too many details!

Home Sweet Home (in 101 DAYS)

2011-08-10T14:10:00.000-04:00

A family in South Tampa has given me a free place to stay until Forrest and I are married, but in the mean time, I have been helping Forrest with his house (our future home) in St. Pete.

Here is a sneak peak of the little place on 15th Ave... can't wait to call this place home in 101 days.

The House

Front Door

Front Porch

Front Office

Den: View 1

Den: View 2

Dining Room: View 1

Guest Room: View 1

Guest Room: View 2

Master: View 1

Master: View 2

Kitchen

Our two Guard Dogs

flash backs:

2011-08-03T10:44:00.004-04:00

I was flipping through pictures today and came across these...

A next-door neighbor and I would get married on a daily basis (definitely not kidding about this one!!) in his living room. His mom was the preacher, his sister played the piano, and my ring was the twisty-tie from the bread in the kitchen. My "groom" was named John, but because of a speech impediment, he had to get used to me calling him "Ga-on." We would drive off down the sidewalk after the "ceremony" in his powerwheels red wrangler jeep for all of the neighborhood to see.

Oh the days living on Pine Court...

I've always wanted to be a bride, but one thing I am certain of, I never imagined that my groom would be as great as Forrest is. The Lord has given me something SO sweet, and I am beyond thankful and honored for the man I get to marry in November. It hasn't really hit me yet that in 3 and a half months I will me married and living with a guy. I have such a joy and peace in all this because I am certain I have found my other half.

One closing thought today: This wedding seems much better than the early days in the Pine Court neighborhood!

Date set!

2011-07-21T13:30:00.002-04:00

We have set a date and are looking forward to being married in 4 months!

Big News!

2011-07-14T23:38:00.001-04:00

How does the "Eleazer Diaries" sound for a name?

I guess I will have to rename my blog soon BECAUSE...

Forrest proposed. And I said YES!!!!

Couldn't be more excited to have the most amazing man as a fiance!

Here is the story:

I was leaving town on Thursday for a reunion with my best friends, so Forrest had told me to mark my calendar on Wednesday for a date night before I left.

It was a typical Wednesday. We both got home from work and jumped in the car to go on a boat ride and go to dinner. The tide was low, but Forrest was so determined to get the boat in the water that he even jumped in with his shoes on to push the boat off of the lift.

Once we were on the boat, he surprised me with a cooler filled with cheese, crackers, salami, and drinks. We rode out to the gulf and sat in front of the Don Cesar Hotel on Pass-A-Grille Beach to watch the sunset.

At 8:28 on July 13th, Forrest told me to close my eyes because he had one more surprise for me in the cooler. As I opened my eyes, he was down on one knee with the sun setting on the horizon. Both of us had tears in our eyes thinking of the future we get to have together.

I'll never forget his words. "I love this. I love that we can do this for the rest of our life. Turner Louise Outlaw, will you marry me?"

I think in all of the excitement, I forgot to actually say "yes" to his question. I am guessing he got the picture from my reaction, but just in case...

Forrest Thomas Eleazer, YES!!!! I get to spend the rest of my life telling you that I couldn't be more excited to be your wife.

3 days

2011-07-10T15:00:00.000-04:00

THREE days until this...

And some of this...

and if we are honest, probably some of this...

I cannot wait.

These times are just good for the soul.

Happy 4th of July!

2011-06-30T15:04:00.000-04:00

Happy 4th of July from St. Petersburg, Florida!

We are festive here and ready for fireworks, friends, and a long weekend on the water!

Hannah and her boy...

2011-06-28T17:33:00.000-04:00

This is Hannah's boy. I prayed for years she would meet a great guy, and now she is happily dating a handsome guy featured in the article below:

http://thegentlemensfund.com/nominees/view/310

Way to pick a good one, Han!

BiG

2011-06-28T11:49:00.001-04:00

I have lived BIG.

And I like living that way. I like being involved in the BIG stuff the Lord is doing. I like feeling like a BIG fish in a BIG pond. I thrive in the BIG moments in life or at least I used to...

I have found lately that I get overwhelmed when I think BIG scale. Moving to a new city is overwhelming. Finding community and meeting new people is overwhelming. Meeting 100's of kids is overwhelming. Being responsible to bring Wyldlife to 6 middle schools is overwhelming.

Simply, transition is overwhelming me, but I am reminded of a parable in Luke (Luke 16:1-13) and the words of the Lord, "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much."

All Jesus has asked me to do today is to be faithful in the SMALL things.

I have to remind myself that I am called to pay attention to the small stuff, so that when the BIG stuff comes around one day, I can be faithful in that, too.

Old and New:

2011-06-22T16:29:00.001-04:00

I want to brag on Forrest. A month ago, he bought a house.

Buckets of sweat and a couple of blisters later, look at the difference...

Old House

New House

Stay tuned :)

St. Pete

2011-06-22T16:18:00.003-04:00

I love St. Petersburg.

"Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! I will make a way in the wilderness and streams in the desert... to give drink to my chosen people."

Isaiah 43

"You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace."

Isaiah 55

"Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you."

Psalm 116

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you."

Psalm 32

Moving!!

2011-04-21T10:06:00.005-04:00

I move in TWO weeks. Yep. Kinda freaking out. Excited for the big move though. Tampa, Florida, here I come! The Lord has provided so much: a great job (Wyldlife Ministry in South Tampa) and an amazing place to stay (a family has given me a guest house in South Tampa to live in for FREE)... I am so thankful!

Fun fact: Forrest bought a house. I am completely in love with it. Built in 1925. Four blocks from the water. Has character and charm GALORE. A couple of rooms are nasty colors, but other than that, it is in great shape. Congratulations, Forrest... you might have a new mortgage to pay, but you have found the cutest little bungalow ever built.

Palm Sunday.

2011-04-20T10:07:00.003-04:00

Andrew Petersen wrote "RESURRECTION LETTERS: Meditations on the Crucifixion and Resurrection of Christ." His words really hit home with me regarding Palm Sunday and this Holy Week we are now in. He tells of Palm Sunday and Judas' betrayal with such ease and grace.

"The sun shines hot on the city gate, and you feel the air move with the palm branches. You hear the hearts pumping in their chests. Their mouths cry “save us” while their hearts cry “give us what we want.” But because you are God you hear even deeper in the spirits of men and women and even children the silence of our profound loneliness. You hear the trickle of need we scarcely know ourselves.

You come to us though you know we’re praying to you for the wrong reasons, singing to you without the faintest notion of how powerful and just and holy you really are.

And yet, you come...

Judas saw the wonders you did, the authority with which you taught, and heard you declare yourself the son of God more than once. He had no excuse. It was clear to those in your company that you were made of a goodness that rendered betrayal unthinkable.

But Judas, whatever his reasons, did the unthinkable.

And he did it with such irony. With a kiss. You had washed his feet only hours ago. I wonder what went through his mind as he sat there uncomfortable and appalled at your outrageous demonstration of love and service?

You knew he would betray you. You knew he was the guilty one, and still you took his filthy feet in your hands and washed them in the basin. You patted them dry with the towel around your waist.

Love your enemies, you had told them. And, kneeling before the betrayer, you showed them how."

He does exist.

2011-04-08T17:17:00.011-04:00

One of my best friends, Ivy, got married in Texas this past December. She is a precious friend of mine, and we have been through the good and the bad together. She has been with me and my mom at MD Anderson Cancer Hospital this fall (http://theladyinthestreet.blogspot.com), and I have been with her when her mom passed away from cancer three years ago. When you spend time with Ivy, you leave feeling refreshed. She loves to ask questions and is one of the best listeners I know. She is wise beyond her years, and one of the wisest choices she ever made was to marry an amazing man by the name Drew Lassiter.

Here is an amazing story (told by Ivy herself) from her wedding. She might not have had her mom "physically" present with her on her big day, but what the Lord orchestrated for her was so beautiful...

"See this picture below. Do you see what I see?

Well, I didn't during the ceremony. When Drew and I were looking at the photographer's pictures Drew saw this picture and said, "My mom is going to love that since it says Mom." It still didn't hit me then.

This week I read the book "Heaven is for Real", which is unreal. It's about this 3 year old boy that went to heaven. You just need to read it. He talks about how he could see what was going on on earth and so many other amazing things.

Well, right when I finished the book I got an email from my cousin with the same picture. She said "Do y'all see what I see?"

And it hit me! My mom and Jesus arranged that! Yall, I had been praying so much that my Mom would see my wedding and that I would have a sign that she was there. She was!!! It's kind of makes me laugh thinking about my mom trying to get me to realize that she was there."

All I can say after seeing these pictures and seeing the word "Mom" displayed so clearly in the background (made up of four Christmas trees and a wreath) is that the Lord indeed exists and that He is good.

This time last year?

2011-04-07T15:10:00.005-04:00

This time last year...

A cute boy named Forrest moved down the street from me and joined my Wyldlife team. I enjoyed getting to know him better.
I lived in an apartment.
I was just starting to feel comfortable with my job with Younglife. Whitefield Younglife, Whitefield Wyldlife, and Pace Wyldlife was going well, and I was nervous thinking about taking on the task of running an additional fourth club, Pace Younglife.
My mom was cancer free.

Now...

I am moving to Tampa, Florida in 28 days to be with Forrest. In a year, he went from living down the street from me, to living 2 hours away in Birmingham, and now to living 7 hours away in Florida. He has bought a house built in the 1920s that is filled with character and charm located in St. Petersburg's Old Northeast area. I love him more and more every day I am with him.
I live in an amazing house with two girls. We have been blessed beyond belief to live in a newly renovated spacious house.
Younglife has been unbelievable this year. I am still surprised at all of the kids the Lord sent our way at Pace and Whitefield. Club has been fun, kids have grown in their faith, and my leaders are encouraged seeing all that the Lord has done.
I have been offered a Younglife position in South Tampa to do Wyldlife. The committee and staff have welcomed me with open arms, and I am excited about the kids I will get the privilege of spending time with.
My mom has been through months of surgery and radiation in Houston, Texas. She is recovering and doing well.

I am overwhelmed thinking about how much the Lord has done in a year. The verse in Isaiah is on my heart today, "See, I am doing a new thing! I am making a way in the wilderness... because I provide water in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland, to give drink to my people, my chosen, the people I formed for myself that they may proclaim my praise." He has provided, and I am filled with joy.

Legion

2011-04-05T10:20:00.003-04:00

Love this passage in Luke 8:26-39:

"They sailed to the region of the Gerasenes, which is across the lake from Galilee. When Jesus stepped ashore, he was met by a demon-possessed man from the town. For a long time this man had not worn clothes or lived in a house, but had lived in the tombs. When he saw Jesus, he cried out and fell at his feet, shouting at the top of his voice, “What do you want with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I beg you, don’t torture me!”

Jesus asked him, “What is your name?”

“Legion,” he replied, because many demons had gone into him.

A large herd of pigs was feeding there on the hillside. The demons begged Jesus to let them go into the pigs, and he gave them permission. When the demons came out of the man, they went into the pigs, and the herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and was drowned...
The man from whom the demons had gone out begged to go with him, but Jesus sent him away, saying, “Return home and tell how much God has done for you.” So the man went away and told all over town how much Jesus had done for him."

Two thoughts:

Jesus goes to a place He has never been before and a place He will never go again in His ministry. He simply goes to see the demon-possesed man. Jesus comes for the one. He was and still is always concerned with those on the outs.

When Jesus healed this man, He had a plan for him. The man wanted to go with Jesus and start his life over. He was known as a weirdo. He had been isolated for years and had lost everything; yet, Jesus called him to go where they knew Him as the "crazy guy." Can you imagine the stares or the whispers when people saw him? Staying where they knew his reputation from the past was uncomfortable and hard. All he wanted to do is forget the past and live a normal life. YET, the man did exactly what Jesus told him to do. He still obeyed even though it was not what he wanted to do, and the Lord was glorified because of it.

life lately...

2011-03-24T11:14:00.005-04:00

I haven't blogged all fall. No words can express what a heck season in life it has been. Here are a few excerpts from several emails updates on my mom...

From my mom's friend Paula:

"Sissy’s life here - today, in Houston – revolves around humidifiers and pain meds, irrigating a trach tube, and figuring out how to swallow foods soft enough (yet rich enough) to gain strength.

This is Bethlehem, right now, but you have to look with spirit eyes to see this particular Bethlehem, or maybe to see your own.

Just for a moment, while reading this, just stop. Pause.

Spend a second or two to look around with your eyes.

The view from our window is a parking garage, salmon colored, chipped paint, water stained and dirty bricks. It doesn’t look like anything at all at first (or even second) glance. All day yesterday they were cleaning inside the

garage and the deafening noise was anything but choirs of angels, until you pause long enough. Long enough to catch the narrow stretch of blue sky above the top level of the garage and some long strings of stray clouds floating overhead.

Then you realize that you have another day.
You have life, and with that realization you see the first shepherds in the distance."

From Paula again:

"Yesterday was a long day for Sissy. As pain intensifies from the radiated sites, it meant visits to her surgeon, oncologist, pain management team, as well as more radiation. There were long waits, long corridors to navigate – some tears shed – but not a complaint from her. As each doctor told her that this is the home stretch, and the necessary state of things right now, I visibly watched her color the space surrounding her with acceptance.

Sissy’s beautiful daughter Turner and her two friends, Erin and Hannah, arrived at noon. Their twenty-five year old exhuberance was a pain med in and of itself. A high dose of life. I watched Sissy’s face as they put her in a wheel chair and raced down the long hallways with her. All the statistics in the world are one thing…but joy/kindness (the extraordinary kindness of Sissy’s surgeon and oncologist)- the joy of these girls- all the statistics cannot account for that which moves in life in secret rhythm and is larger than everything. None of the statistics can account for the Peace.

Last night as Sissy got up and down through the night, she noticed a light flashing on the two decorative Christmas trees and the flowers on a nearby table. A flashing light from a smoke alarm? The reflection of the phone’s message light? It’s irrelevant. A light flashed over the scene and Sissy reports that she felt an ever deepening sense of walking with Christ – Prince of Peace -…Her response was glory and praise, the peace of God…not as symbol, but as living reality.

From Alaska to Florida, from Boston to southern California, your prayers go out, aimed at this small room in a medical center in Houston, directed at the heart of us all via the heart of one small woman. In Alaska they’ve made ice candles and have them burning for her…set out where Sissy once sat, on a small deck in a pristine Cove.

The Peace of God. As we face another day – another tangle of medications and radiation… as you face whatever fills your hours…we wish you dearly the peace of God that has settled into us here, right in the very midst of all things difficult. Light for the world."

From my mom's friend, Ellen:

"So…here it is the 29^th of Dec. and Sissy only has one more radiation treatment! After 43 treatments the skin around her neck where the trache belt sits is raw and she is on a mostly liquid diet. But, our little champion has kept her weight up and displays an obedience to all directives that is quite remarkable! Our days pass quickly in the way that time seems to be doing in general in these latter years. I knew this would be one of those blessed weeks, one that is so out of the ordinary that it will make a permanent mark on the landscape of my mind. I am so glad I am spending it with Sissy.

Sissy is very brave. Her throat and the burns on her skin around her neck continue to worsen and the pain increases, but she bears up through it all with patience and an uncommon buoyancy. The dressing of her wounds and the trache cleaning are made easy by her extremity. It reminds me that all things are made easy when done with love. For those who doubt their capacity to perform these deeds when their turn comes I would simply remind them of this truth. Few of us know our true capacity to serve. Taking care of a person in need with love is not a hard thing to do. There is so much of God in it that any inadequacy vanishes as all thoughts of self are submerged by the need of the Other."

Life hasn't slowed down and hasn't been easy.... Forrest has moved to Tampa. My mom has been in and out of the hospital fighting thyroid cancer. My aunt passed away unexpectantly. I am moving to Tampa in May, but in the meantime, I am in Atlanta running 4 Younglife clubs. Life is hectic, but my perspective is focused on all that the Lord is doing and redeeming and saving.

Ministry of Presence

2010-10-19T15:37:00.000-04:00

As we meet and hang out with kids, know that we are Jesus to them. They might not ever have anyone else in their life who loves them right where they are. As Younglife leaders, we have the opportunity to show them the gospel, maybe for the first time in their life, in such a clear way, simply be loving them and showing up consistently in their life. I want the quote below to be true of my life.

"More and more, the desire grows in me simply to walk around, greet people, enter their homes, sit on their doorsteps, play ball, throw water, and be known as someone who wants to live with them. It is a privilege to have the time to practice this simple ministry of presence. Still, it is not as simple as it seems. My own desire to be useful, to do something significant, or to be part of some impressive project is so strong that soon my time is taken up by meetings, conferences, study groups, and workshops that prevent me from walking the streets. It is difficult not to have plans, not to organize people around an urgent cause, and not to feel that you are working directly for social progress. But I wonder more and more if the first thing shouldn't be to know people by name, to eat and drink with them, to listen to their stories and to tell your own, and to let them know with words, handshakes, and hugs that you do not simply like them, but you truly love them."

~Henry Nouwen, "Gracias"

nothing

2010-08-18T09:14:00.009-04:00

There is no greater truth than this:
We are His. Unalterably. He loves us. Undyingly. NOTHING can separate us from the love of Christ.

This verse in Deuteronomy brought tears to my eyes this morning...

"For you are a people holy to the LORD your God. The LORD your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession. The LORD did not set his affection on you and choose you because you were more numerous than other peoples, for you were the fewest of all peoples. But it was because the LORD loved you and kept the oath he swore to your forefathers that he brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the land of slavery, from the power of Pharaoh king of Egypt. Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands."

school again

2010-08-16T21:45:00.003-04:00

Whitefield Academy started school today. I am excited to be able to share my life with high school and middle school kids again. Even though work can be hectic and overwhelming at times, I feel more purposeful and alive doing YOUNGLIFE than I do with anything else. I was reading some quotes from the founder of YOUNGLIFE today... he sums up best what I have the privilege of doing everyday. I love my job.

"Christ is the strongest, grandest, most attractive personality ever to grace the earth. But a careless messenger with the wrong method can reduce all this magnificence to the level of boredom...It is a crime to bore anyone with the gospel."

"Young Life work is the art of penetrating a culture that doesn’t like our Savior."

"Young Life is a group of people committed to the idea of winning a hearing with kids for the greatest story ever told."

"Young Life Campaign is in the business of presenting the Lord Jesus Christ to the high school gang. We believe that He is the most fascinating Person in the Universe. We believe that He will completely captivate the heart of any young person who knows Him."

"Whenever people talk to me about traveling too much or working too hard or running around too much or not taking care of myself, I feel like reminding them of Paul. Why that guy walked farther than I ride on jets....He didn’t care. He was absolutely burning up to see to it that people had a chance to know about Jesus Christ."

Thank you Lord for calling me to YOUNGLIFE. May you bless this school year and may it be for your glory.

my life in the summer of 2010

2010-08-12T10:32:00.000-04:00

Summer has been crazy.

I've spent 4 weeks at various Younglife camps, three of which were spent cleaning over 35 bathrooms A DAY with 7 high school girls. I've seen so many kids come to know Jesus for the first time. I've spent time at home and time outside of the United States with my family. I've been a bridesmaid in three weddings this summer (all in different states). Forrest has a new amazing job in a new city two hours away. My mom has been diagnosed with thyroid cancer and is heading to Houston in a couple of weeks to meet with doctors there. One of the 13 got married and another got engaged within the last month. I am currently packing my apartment to move to new house down the street. I am still in shock that school and YL clubs are close to getting started. Needless to say... this summer has been crazy.

As I am taking time off to rest before I start the school year, I can't help but to think about all the Lord has done this summer. He has been nothing but faithful and loving. His provision has been good. The time I spent with Him has not been great or consistent, but He continues to meet me where I am and love me regardless.

Currently, I am sitting in a chair in my room reading a book. This quote stuck out to me and I want this to be what is said of my life. I want this for my marriage and family one day. I want this for my ministry with Younglife. "They believe they were created for more than a Christian spin on the American dream. They believe the purpose of their lives is deeper than having a nice job, raising a decent family, living a comfortable life, and tacking church attendance onto the end of it. They believe Jesus has called them to a much higher plane and given them a much greater dream. They believe God has shown them great grace (and many blessings) in order that He might use them to accomplish the glorious, global, God-exalting purpose that has been primary since the beginning of time, and they don't want to settle for anything less than radical abandonment to that purpose."

Africa

2010-06-15T11:01:00.001-04:00

I read this from a blog this morning and I was blown away...

"I spend much of my time in a little slum outside of Jinja called Masese that is heavily populated with Uganda's outcasts, the Karamajong. Those in the community who are not Karamajong are shunned by society for other reasons, extreme poverty or illness or uncleanliness or all of the above. To say that I am in love with the people of this community would be a huge understatment. I do not really even have words to describe the way I cherish these beautiful people. They challenge me, they love me unconditionally, and they allow me to see Jesus in their faces. They have taught me much, one of the biggest lessons being the tension between inefficiency and faithfulness. I want to help them all, to fix all their problems, to successfully find a solution to their horrendous living conditions. But sometimes in an unideal situation there is not an ideal solution. The projects Amazima has strated in this community, are wonderful, but only meet the needs of some of the people, only scratching the surface of the problems. God assures me this is ok. If I continue to preach the Gospel and more importanly LIVE the Gospel in this community, though the outward conditions of the people may never change or may change very slowly, but if these people can come with us to Heaven, a few years of suffering will pale in comparrison. In the mean time, He allows me to see Him in their faces and to love Him in bandaging their wounds and letting their charcoal and mud covered children curl up in my lap."

I read this and not only think of my time in Uganda two years ago, but I think of my mom and her sickness. I love the part that says "a few years of suffering will pale in comparison" to eternity with Him. For my mom, a few years of a crippling disease is worth it in light of eternity. For the kids in Africa, a few years of poverty, illness, and sadness, pale in light of knowing Him. Wow. This I know: What a wonderful Savior we have. He makes all things new. Resurrection is real. Life is more powerful than death. Light can pierce darkness. I may never see the end of horrendous situations on this earth, but Christ has overcome the mess that is this world, and I am humbled to get to witness His salvation and saving grace.

truth

2010-06-02T14:07:00.004-04:00

Read these quotes this morning...

"We have taken the infinitely glorious Son of God, who endured the infinitely terrible wrath of God and who now reigns as the infinitely worthy Lord of all, and we have reduced Him to a poor puny Savior who is just begging for us to accept Him... surely the gospel evokes unconditional surrender of all that we are and all that we have to all that He is."

and

"We are saved not just to be forgiven of our sins or to be assured of our eternity in heaven, but we are saved to know God. So we yearn for Him. We want Him so much that we abandon everything else to experience Him. This is the only proper response to the revelation of God in the gospel."

Preach it. Loved this truth this morning.

And for your viewing pleasure, he are a couple of pictures from this weekend in St. Petersburg, Florida. I went home with Forrest, and it was a great weekend with his mom and his friends. I loved getting to know him better and loved being able to have a fun weekend on the water!

uncertain

2010-05-17T10:14:00.001-04:00

I've been learning alot about uncertainty lately. People I care about are in uncertain times and heck, I am pretty uncertain about things in my life, too. I love the fact that the Lord is not surprised by anything in our lives. NOTHING. He tells us it is going to be hard and that we might suffer. He even prepares us for the transition. But the truth is that God is OK that we have periods of uncertainty. In John 13: 31-35, Jesus is preparing His disciples for His death; He knew the cruxifiction was going to freak them out. He knew they would be uncertain for awhile. He tells them tough times are ahead. BUT He is OK for His disciples to go through weeks of being unsure and frightened because Jesus knows a resurrection is on the other side.

And that's the same in my life, too. A season of uncertainty is OK because resurrection and restoration are on the other side. He is at work, and His plans are great. So in my unsureness, Jesus has told me to rest and be OK.

radical

2010-05-14T16:45:00.000-04:00

What in my life doesn't line up with the gospel?

I asked this question this morning. I do Younglife and hang out with kids ALOT. I give up weekends and nights to do ministry. I give to the church. I have a heart for Africa and the poor. I don't make alot of money. Is it enough though? What if I have missed what is radical about my faith and replaced it with what is comfortable? The cost is high to follow Jesus. Am I willing to abandon it all? We twist the Jesus of the bible into a more comfortable version because we are afraid of what it might mean for our lives. We hear what he says and then we decide whether we like it or not. We give away but we give the stuff we don't really care about, the stuff we can live without.

What will this mean for me? I have realized that in the end though, I am not giving away anything at all. Instead, I am gaining. I have found something worth losing everything for. It will be better , not just for the poor and for the people I interact with, but for me, when I abandon the stuff I am holding on to. Maybe life is found not in what our culture says is important, but in total abandonment to Jesus.

wisdom

2010-04-26T10:26:00.000-04:00

wisdom... I pray for wisdom. But what does that really mean for me?

I know God is infinitely wise and that is at the root of all truth. Tozer says, "Wisdom sees everything in focus, each in proper perspective to all, and is thus able to work toward predestined goals with flawless precision." From that definition, I learn I can never be wise. I will never see everything in perfect focus and then be able to carry it out with flawless precision. Yep, you heard me... not going to happen.

But I can rest in what God is. He is the only wise God. His acts are pure, wise, and good. He has the wisdom to plan things out and the power to carry it out. He says in Isaiah, "I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known: I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight. These things will I do unto them, and not forsake them." We can rest in the wisdom of God to guide our lives. We can trust that the wisdom of God is ultimately best. And we can pray for the wisdom of God to consume our lives and calm our anxious hearts.

Tozer

2010-04-23T09:57:00.000-04:00

I am reading an A.W. Tozer book during my quiet time each morning. The man has the most brilliant quotes. He might have written them long ago, but his wisdom about God is still holy and true. I thought I'd share a few...

"The gravest question before the Church is always God Himself."

"Low views of God destroy the gospel for all who hold them... the essence of idolatry is the entertainment of thoughts about God that are unworthy of Him."

"The yearning to know What cannot be known, to comprehend the Incomprehensible, to touch and taste the Unapproachable, arises from the image of God in the nature of man."

"What God declares, the believing hear confesses without the need of further proof."

"We can never know who or what we are till we know at least something of what God is... the fact of God is necessary to the fact of man. Think God away and man has no ground of existence."

"His interest in His creatures arises from His sovereign good pleasure, not from any need those creatures can supply nor from any completeness they can bring Him who is complete in Himself... So, were every man on earth to become atheist, it could not affect God in any way."

"...Yet that God has made us of the stuff of eternity is both a glory yet to be realized and a prophecy yet to be fulfilled."

"His knowledge of our afflictions and adversaries is more than theoretic; it is personal, warm, and compassionate. What ever may befall us, God knows and cares as no one else can."

gaurdrails

2010-04-19T15:25:00.000-04:00

The Lord puts guardrails (for a mental picture, imagine the things that are found on highways) in our lives, not to RESTRICT us, but to PROTECT us from plunging into something dangerous.

He has called us to not be foolish. We know the Lord wants for us in our lives, and we choose to live a different life than that. There is much at risk, and we are too careless. We choose things that cause us to loose control or impair our judgement. We are called to set guardrails up not in the danger zone, but several feet before we even get close to harm's way. We are called to be filled with the spirit and to listen to our conscious, even if it places us in an awkward situation. We are called to something great as believers, and it is time that we choose the Lord's will for our daily lives.

worry

2010-04-06T16:42:00.000-04:00

Both worry and stress reek of arrogance.

When I am consumed by my problems, I actually convey the belief that i think the circumstances in my life are more important than God's command to always rejoice. Worry implies that I don't trust God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in my life.

I think I have been having headaches because of stress, worry, and tension in my life. The last thing I want to be in arrogant. I have a loving, powerful, BIG God who cares about me and my small needs. I am choosing to rejoice in Him, who is bigger than anything I am worrying about.

Carlos

2010-03-30T15:15:00.001-04:00

I had lunch with the sweetest man yesterday. Carlos has recently come on Younglife staff with us, and I have loved getting to know him. He is such a humble servant heart, and the kids at North Atlanta love him. He is always the first to help with anyone in need. He is loyal and faithful. He always addresses our boss as "Mr. Randy" when the rest of us are more casual. His Younglife team threw him a birthday party the other week, and he told us it was the first birthday party anyone ever threw him. He is 32.

He has a story like no other I have heard. He lived on the streets. He was in prison. He has been shot at several times. He sold drugs on the streets on San Antonio, Texas. But he said the worst part of the whole thing was his angry heart.

It is so hard for me to imagine Carlos this way and living that life. He is truly the definition of "becoming a new creation, where the old is gone and the new has come." He is thankful that his heart is so completely different than it was before, and I am, too.

2 things:

2010-03-29T09:48:00.000-04:00

2 things:

First, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM. I love you dearly, and I love that I get another year with you as my mother. Your faith and strength amaze me. I am blessed to not only call you mom, but friend.

Second, here are two verses that AMAZE me about the character of God. There is no need for me to explain anything about them. He is good.

"Not one word from the Lord's good promises to the House of Israel has failed; everyone was fulfilled." Joshua 21:45

"BEFORE they call, I will answer." Isaiah 65:24

On Palm Sunday

2010-03-28T22:47:00.000-04:00

Obedience is a choice.

And I have tried so hard to make that choice for my life lately.

I know the truth that The Lord blesses obedience, and I am praising Him tonight because I have seen that so clearly.

He is better.

He has given good things to me.

He has something better for my life, even though I have tried for so long to cling to the things that don't give me life.

He knows me.

He knows best.

He is best.

From a song that has been my favorite over the past month:

"I'm running to your arms, the riches of your love will always be enough. Nothing compares to your embrace...

You are more than my words will ever say...

You are God, of all else I am letting go...

My heart will sing no other name."

video

2010-03-26T09:55:00.003-04:00

What an awesome video on the gooddness of God.

http://vimeo.com/9796056

famous

2010-03-25T10:06:00.002-04:00

My Younglife kids are awesome/famous.

http://www.cbsatlanta.com/video/22926459/index.html

Jenni

2010-03-22T14:03:00.007-04:00

I went to a wedding this weekend in Dallas. Jenni Berryhill is a good friend, and I knew her wedding would be a holy time. She walked down the aisle to the song below, O, Glorious Day, which describes what it will be like when Jesus comes back for His bride. Seeing her walk down the aisle to meet Paul brought tears to my ears; they are a couple who is pure in heart and has made Jesus their goal. It was a beautiful sight and was such a clear representation of Jesus coming after His pure bride, us, the church. Oh, glorious day when Jesus returns for us. Oh, glorious day that He has set us apart and made us clean.

One day when Heaven

Is filled with His praises

One day when sin was as black as could be

Jesus came forth to

Be born of a virgin

He dwelt among men, my example is He

[Chorus:]

Living He loved me

Dying He saved me

Buried He carried my sins far away

Rising He justified

Freely forever

One day He's coming

Oh, Glorious Day

One day they led Him

Up calvary's mountain

One day they nailed Him

To die on a tree

Suffering anguish

Despised and rejected

Bearing our sins, my Redeemer is He

One day the grave could conceal Him no longer

One day the stone rolled away from the door

Then He arose o'er

Death He had conquered

Now is ascended

My lord evermore

[Chorus]

One day the trumpet will

Sound for His coming

One day the skies with His

Glories will shine

Wonderful day

My beloved was bringing

Glorious Savior this Jesus is mine

Oh, Glorious Day

One day the trumpet will

Sound for His coming

One day the skies with His

Glories will shine

suffering

2010-03-21T21:46:00.001-04:00

Thought this was cool about suffering:

Think of the Israelites in slavery in Egypt...

Before their exodus, the Lord had them ask the Egyptians for treasure. The Lord caused the Egyptians to have favor on the Israelites, so the Egyptians handed over their treasured possessions to them. And it was these treasures that the Israelites used to make the tabernacle, God's dwelling place. His home among them.

If it had not been for the slavery, they would not have had the treasure. Slavery is not the way we seek treasure. It doesn't make sense to our way of thinking. But as we follow the Lord, we see places in our lives. Places that are dark but yield light. Places he uses suffering to bring us and make us into His great treasure.

Luke 15

2010-03-15T15:28:00.005-04:00

Luke 15: 11-24. A familiar story. Some unfamiliar truths I learned at church this Sunday.

¹¹Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. ¹²The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them. ¹³"Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. ¹⁴After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need.¹⁵So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. ¹⁶He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. ¹⁷"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! ¹⁸I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. ¹⁹I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' ²⁰So he got up and went to his father. "But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. ²¹"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. ²²"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. ²³Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. ²⁴For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate."

So he divided his property between them: During this time, no son would have ever asked this question. He basically was saying to his father that He wanted him dead. And no father during this time would have responded the way the father did in the parable. It would have been more common for the father and the community as a whole to beat the son, shun him, and drive him out of town. The son was bringing the ultimate shame not only on himself, but on his family (and their reputation) by asking for his money. The father was bringing shame to his family name (one that generations after generations had labored to create) on himself by responding the way he did.

PIGS: It was unclean for a jewish person to touch a pig, so the son was doing the most unclean job in the eyes of the culture. He was also starving to death. Suffering was his greatest teacher.

RAN: It was a shame for a man to run in Israel doing this time. The father running to reach His son was bringing more shame on Himself.

Sandals: only an honored son wore scandals. The rest of the people (including the hired hands) in the house would have been barefoot.

singleness

2010-03-12T11:08:00.001-05:00

So I started reading a book the other night, partly for myself and partly to get insight for my high school campaigner group. "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" is a radical title to a book, but it has a lot of truth to it. Sure, its written for teenagers and can be a bit cheesy, but I needed to hear some things, too.

Short-term dating can tie us down. If the Lord has me in this season for a reason, He wants me to maximize my freedom and flexibility to serve Him.

Our obedience catches God's attention (2 Chronicles 16:9). He denies us what we think is good only because He has something better for us. HE HASN'T FORGOTTEN ME.

He provides something better NOW as we take advantage of the unique opportunities of singleness, and He'll provided something better LATER when we enter into marriage.

God will bring us something BETTER when it is the right time. I trust that since I am single now, it is BETTER for me and my faith. In the end, His perfect timing will be revealed.

If we are discontented with singleness, we'll more than likely face discontentment when we're married.

We might be guilty of poor stewardship of our singleness when we allow a desire for something God obviously doesn't have for us YET to rob our ability to enjoy and appreciate what He HAS given us.

Wow... preach it, Joshua Harris. I pray my time (and gift) of singleness bring Him glory.

obedience

2010-03-10T22:28:00.000-05:00

"You are not being obedient."

Those were the words I heard the Lord say to me today.

Disobedience is what I do when my heart is not satisfied.

Satan tries to keep me in places the Lord has told me to leave.

But the Lord is not content to let me live with the things that do not bring me life.

And obedience is a choice.

My choice.

It is walking in the light, and it is not burdensome.

The Lord blesses obedience.

And at the end of the day, I am resting in the fact that for the first time in months, I was obedient.

interview

2010-03-04T14:44:00.000-05:00

I'm walking into an interview. My hands are sweating. Im nervous. My stomach hurts. I know the Lord has ordained this and is going before me. I can't wait to see what He is going to do.

I keep remembering my high school speech teacher saying, "Slow down. Think of your answers before you spit something stupid out." I am taking her advice and praying my words make some sort of sense :)

Lord, be in this decision. Be in this meeting. Be in every area in my life.

purity

2010-02-26T15:31:00.001-05:00

I have pursued purity (in all forms) for most of my adult life, and I tell (so many times) the high school and middle school girls I get to know to remain pure in body, heart, and mind. It has not been easy at times and it would be much easier to go down a different path along with the majority of people. I was thinking today, though, why exactly is purity such a big deal? Why does it make me want to cry when I hear stories of girls being careless with their purity? Why does this word stir my heart so much?

And I realized that purity is not just something physical we abstain from, it has to do with seeing God. "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." George Whitefield said, "He who is most pure in heart, shall hereafter enjoy the clearest vision of God." Those who give themselves away outside of marriage forfeit a depth of pleasure that only those know who wait for the Lord. Our sight of God in the present is clouded by all impurity.

So why is it a big deal? Because it has to do with seeing God. And in seeing God, we are living the way we were created to live.

king

2010-02-25T14:40:00.003-05:00

This was something cool I was reading this morning...
In 1 Samuel 8, the Israelites were asking Samuel to give them a king. Samuel says in return, "Your wickedness is great, which you have done in the sight of the Lord, in asking for a king." It was a sin for the people to ask for a King because in asking for a king, they were rejecting God as their king.

But here is the cool part...
In the same period when it was a "great wickedness" to ask for a King, God was preparing to give the people a king in the story of Ruth. Both (asking for a King and the birth of Obed, David's great grandfather) were happening at the same time. God governs the sinful acts of men for His own good and wise purposes. God had mercy on the people and made their sinful act serve His eternal purposes- that there would be a kingly line and that His son would be the glorious climax of that line. So cool that what we mean for harm, the Lord uses for His good.

sweet and bitter

2010-02-24T15:55:00.011-05:00

I just finished an amazing book, A Sweet and Bitter Providence by John Piper.

Here is the truth I learned... In all of the setbacks of our lives, God is plotting for our joy. God is in all the strange turns. He is not just showing up after the trouble to cleanup. He is plotting and managing the course with far-reaching purposes for our good and His glory. It does not speak well of our faith if we doubt His love or if we become angry at God when He ordains pain in our lives. God is doing a 1000 things that we do not know. And they are meant for our good.

The story of Ruth shows that God is at work in the darkest of times for the good of His people. The pains of life are not exceptions to God's love for His children. They are expressions of His love. The best is yet to come because He is at work in the darkest of times. The Lord wants us to know that when we follow Him, our lives always mean more than we think they do.

In the darkest of times, rest. Our pain has a loving and wise and all-powerful purpose behind it that is better than any other view- weak God, cruel God, bumbling God, no God. To know that in His hands "this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison" (2 Corinthians 4:17) is reassuring. There is a great point in knowing that God is sovereign over the pain and pleasure of our lives.

windy gap

2010-02-22T11:51:00.009-05:00

This weekend was amazing. I was amazed by grace and what it can look like when presented to a group of kids who have never heard the message before.

This weekend was amazing. I was reminded of the contrast of darkness and light. I was reminded that there is a battle being waged for the souls of middle school kids and that the Lord is fighting for them.

This weekend was amazing. Relationships were strengthened with girls I love. We danced together. Stayed up until four in the morning together. Ate a bunch of junk food together. And talked about what it means to follow Jesus.

This weekend was amazing. I was almost brought to tears when I saw volunteer leaders and high school leaders loving my kids so well. I feel such a burden for these kids, and I felt that it was lifted off of me when I saw leaders selflessly loving kids.

This weekend was amazing. 400 kids heard the gospel and had a blast. Windy Gap was beautiful. Relationships were formed. I saw the Lord. I am encouraged.

thought:

2010-02-13T11:06:00.001-05:00

God has an unwavering commitment to His own glory.

It is God's righteousness to stand by His name. In the darkest of times, God is plotting for His glory.

But His glory is our best. So today, I am pleading God's value as the source of my hope.

this week

2010-02-10T22:10:00.001-05:00

"Difficulty is the very atmosphere of miracle."

I heard this yesterday in my staff meeting, and I could apply it to so many areas of my life. Here are two:

One: I had the worst Wyldlife club I have ever had on Tuesday night. The kids were out of control, and we made a mess of the basement... I wanted to cry! As the night came to a close though, I realized that this moment might be a difficult one, but I am thankful to serve a God who is working out His purpose in the midst of chaos. He is working out the salvation of each kid in that room; His timing is one of patience. He is so very patient with those kids and with me. He is working a miracle each day at Pace in the hearts of these kids, even though sometimes all I see is the difficulty.

Two: I was pulling up to bible study on Monday night and hit the curb... I popped 2 tires. Yep, 2. I had already had a crappy day and as a burst into tears, I felt the Lord reminding me He was in control. I was in front of my biblestudy home, and the parents immediately came to help me. They called tire places, helped me figure out what to do, and drove me to follow the tow truck. The dad was so selfless. He had a long day at work, but he refused to leave me by myself. He sat with me for over an hour waiting for my car to get fixed. It was a difficult Monday, but in the midst of it, the Lord was working. His story did not end with my busting my tires... it ended with Him providing for me and sending people to help when I needed someone. It was not a fun situation to be in, but His provision was sweet.

He can use any hard time for His glory, even the most mundane yet difficult Monday and Tuesday nights in my life.

restless.

2010-02-08T12:56:00.000-05:00

I am restless today.

I want to do something. Something big. Something unimaginable. I want to fly to Italy, Colorado, New York, Dallas, Israel, or London. I want to discover things that are new. I want to love and serve. I want the feeling that comes with traveling and learning. I want to walk around a place I've never been. I want to make a difference, and I want to be changed.

What in the world am I suppose to do with all of that?? And why in the heck do I feel this way? I am praying for a content heart. I have no clue what else to pray today to help me get through the mundane tasks of a Monday. Lord, do something. Stir my heart. Move me. Help me see your goodness and your story within a boring weekday in Atlanta, GA.

pictures by Jess

2010-02-03T09:57:00.002-05:00

Couple more lake pictures...

BFF

2010-01-31T10:10:00.002-05:00

Meet my best friends...

I love them!

(pictures by Jessica Rawlings)

light.

2010-01-27T13:58:00.001-05:00

I feel like I've been MIA lately with this blog, but it has been a busy few weeks. From weekly clubs to skiing in Colorado to a long lake weekend with the 13, it has already been a great 2010. Hannah has been on TV (and did amazing... here is the link: http://www.hgtv.com/videos/kidfriendly-living-space/48584.html ) and Laura has gotten engaged. Big year ahead for us!

One of my favorite new things of this year is a small group I am in on Thursday nights. Over 30 girls meet together in a home to hear the truth. It has been awesome, and I have already learned so much. I was apprehensive about joining because it would involve me giving up the only night I have free during the week. However, I also know I need to be challenged and held accountable for things in my life. I need Godly community. So I joined.

I read the other morning this quote, and I pray this for my life... "His goodness is to be our experience even when surrounded by things that do not speak of His goodness." We have talked lately about being a daughter of the light. Darkness is disorienting and I have felt that lately, so this teaching has been so relevant to exactly where I am. I have chosen at times darkness over His light and way, and it is so damaging when I do that because I'll miss seeing His goodness.

My prayer for my life is to wake up and dwell in the expectancy to see the Lord's goodness.

hannah

2010-01-20T13:17:00.000-05:00

Hannah (one of my best friends) is on TV this weekend...

http://neighborsgo.com/index.php?page_id=1000&site_page_id=301&post_id=18271&sblog_id=878

Everyone set your DVR's! It will be on HGTV this Saturday at 2:30 (1:30 central)! So proud of her!!! Here is more about her episode of First Time Design:

http://www.hgtv.com/first-time-design/ki
d-friendly-living-space-with-fresh-moder
n-vibe/index.html

passion

2010-01-06T14:02:00.000-05:00

I just finished the passion series (online since I'm too cheap to pay for the actual conference downtown) and there were so many quotable moments. Here are a few:

Louie:

"I want to trade in something small, my life, for something huge, His story."

"Sickness for God's Glory. There is a bigger story going on. It isn't that He doesn't care."

Beth Moore:

""If God permitted something hard, He is using it. He is using our past to equip us. He would have said no to something that He wasn't using to bring Himself glory."

Francis Chan:

"We think that no matter what we hear, experience, or see, we are not changing. We instead choose the sin or bitterness."

"Some Jews saw Lazarus raised from the dead and didn't believe. They had their minds made up about Jesus. We are the same and we need a reminder."

"Scripture says He has given us everything we need to live a Godly life, so whose fault is it when we mess up? God gave us a new nature; we have to walk away from sin. We are slaves to righteousness."

John Piper (gotta think deep with these below):

"Do we love God for His God-centeredness or for our man-centeredness? We should love God's commitment to God and not His to man."

"We don't have to choose between God getting glory and our joy because the apex of His glory is our joy."

"You weren't made to be somebody. You were made to know somebody."

"Self-forgetfulness in the presence of majesty is the capstone of joy."

"If Jesus is more glorious than anything, what better thing could He ask from us than for us to bring Him glory."

"If God doesn't value His glory, He is a sinner and unrighteous. God's praise is not because He has a needy ego. It is for our benefit and our joy."

2010

2010-01-02T19:38:00.000-05:00

Here is a blog Erin sent me today. This girl recapped 2009 so beautifully and it parallels my life in so many ways. She says it so well, that I am just attaching her blog post instead of my own.

http://annieblogs.com/2009/12/30/2009-the-year-i-refused-to-recap/

Here's to 2010. To God's Goodness.

To His faithfulness for another year.

To His faithfulness in the year passed.

hark!

2009-12-24T23:59:00.000-05:00

I want to sing this at the top of my lungs tonight:

http://www.lala.com/#song/576742246398721895

"Hail the heav'n-born Prince of Peace!

Hail the Son of Righteousness!

Light and life to all He brings
Ris'n with healing in His wings
Mild He lays His glory by
Born that man no more may die
Born to raise the sons of earth
Born to give them second birth.
Hark! The herald angels sing,
Glory to the newborn King."

"Born that man no more may die." I hope these words touch your heart on this Christmas Eve night. I hope it makes your heart sing. Glory to the newborn King!

history writing

2009-12-24T12:26:00.000-05:00

In ancient history writing, writers would leave gaps in a genealogy account to make a person look good. Matthew's gospel story didn't. He has made people today question why Jesus' geneology is what it is. Men where only in genealogy accounts typically, but he mentioned women (Tamar, Rahab, Bathsheba) who didn't have a great reputation. Why is he telling all the bad? Why not skip over it? Most did. What is his point?

Why? Because Matthew was with Jesus 3 years, and Matthew knew that all these "bad" people were the point of the story he was about to tell. He knew it was a story about light coming into darkness. Forgiveness over condemnation. And it was Matthew's story, too. He was a tax collector, lower than a sinner. He saw Jesus seek out sinners over and over again, so he was sure not to leave any out of his genealogy account. They reflected why Jesus came in the first place. The rules had changed, and I've come to realize that failures and sinners are the point of Christmas in the first place. They are why the story is told each year. Jesus came to not call the righteous but the sinners.

perfect timing

2009-12-21T18:29:00.000-05:00

As I sat in Church last night in Mobile, the Lord spoke to my heart. Tears came to my eyes when I heard Him speak, saying, "Turner, little one, my timing is perfect." I had forgotten that characteristic of God... That all things happen by God at the right time. It is not that He has forgotten about me or placed me on hold. He has a plan and has perfect timing. He is not indifferent or slow to speak.

I bet the people in Israel 2o1o years ago thought that, too. They hadn't heard from God in 400 years! Not a peep. No voice. No burning bush. No prophets. The Messiah was nowhere to be found. I bet they thought He has forgotten them and His promises. Isaiah had predicted this King coming, but where was He? At the right time, He sent His son to the world. In a manger. I bet they weren't expecting a baby by a lowly Jewish girl either. Jesus was exactly who Isaiah said He was though. The world was in need of a Savior and the Lord's plan, which was made before the foundation of the world, came at the most perfect time. The stars aligned at the perfect time. He came at the perfect time. He was perfect. And He came at the perfect time last night and spoke to my heart.

gospel of GRACE

2009-12-18T11:39:00.000-05:00

I read this passage this morning from Acts 20. Paul is telling the elders in Ephesus goodbye for the last time:

"... the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I way finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me- the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace."

Paul's life was to testify to the gospel of grace. And I pray for that same thing this morning. The gospel of grace in my life. Not self-righteousness. Not judgment. Not legalism. Not doing the "right" thing. But the gospel of grace. May my lips be fast to speak grace. And may my heart be at rest with the grace He has extended me.

Top books I've read in 2009:

2009-12-16T14:15:00.001-05:00

In no particular order:

1) "The North Face of God" by Ken Gire.

2) "Crazy Love" and "Forgotten God" by Francis Chan

3) "A Long Way Gone" by Ishmael Beah

4) "Left to Tell" by Immaculee Ilibagiza

5) "Same Kind of Different as Me" by Ron Hall and Denver Moore

6) "Where the River Ends" by Charles Martin

7) "Nineteen Minutes" and "My Sister's Keeper" by Jodi Picoult

8) "Furious Longing of God" by Brennan Manning

9) "Kite Runner" and "A Thousand Splendid Suns" by Khaled Hosseini

10) "The Time Traveler's Wife" by Audrey Niffenegger

Books I want to conquer in 2010:

Harry Potter books (yes, all of them), "What Difference Do it Makes?" by Ron Hall and Denver Moore, "Three Cups of Tea" by Greg Mortenson, and "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett

hannah

2009-12-15T13:36:00.000-05:00

I was reading in the beginning of I Samuel this morning the story of Hannah's desperation to have a child. I am sure some of you are familiar with this story- Hannah's "womb had been closed" and she was desperate for a child. In those days, a woman's worth was in her ability to have children and her husband's other wife was ridiculously fertile (which didn't help matters for Hannah)!

There was a reference referring to another verse that coordinates with this passage that I looked up.

Genesis 50:20-
"But Joseph said to them... "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done- the saving of many lives."

When I was reading the above Scripture, I thought about the fact that Hannah's womb was not just barren, it had been closed, reserved by a Sovereign God. I liken myself to Hannah in this story. We each have a struggle to have what seems to be the strongest desire of our hearts- what we were made for. For Hannah, it was to be a mother. For me, it is to be married and have a family. Hannah was not aimlessly waiting, God had closed her womb on purpose, for a time. The verses say that this was not "to harm" her, it was purposeful- so that many would be saved.

My hope is that this season of my life, and yours, would not be one that is "saved" during which its purposes are not fulfilled. My prayer is that "many will be saved" through this time in our lives. May we continue to run hard after the Lord, use this time well, and bring others to know the Lord more intimately!

Rachel and Ryan!

2009-12-14T15:25:00.001-05:00

Rachel and Ryan are engaged! She sent me this link this morning, and I couldn't help but share it. So sweet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2rE6WPMNJs

peace

2009-12-14T10:50:00.001-05:00

Luke 2:14:

"Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace to men in whom His favor rests."

This was said as prophecy to a bunch of shepherds regarding Jesus' birth. They probably had no clue what the angel was even talking about. Peace to men? Bold statement. How could that be? They were mere shepherds.

But the amazing thing is that God could promise peace to men on earth because He knew he was about to remove the obstacle to peace, sin, by sending His son. Jesus was sent to remove sin once and for all, so that we could have peace. Peace only came because of what Jesus did. But it came. To all men, even shepherds. And it came when the world needed it the most.

king David

2009-12-13T15:25:00.000-05:00

2 Samuel 7 says this:

""Now then, tell my servant David, 'This is what the LORD Almighty says: I took you from the pasture and from following the flock to be ruler over my people Israel. ⁹ I have been with you wherever you have gone, and I have cut off all your enemies from before you. Now I will make your name great, like the names of the greatest men of the earth... ¹² When your days are over and you rest with your fathers, I will raise up your offspring to succeed you, who will come from your own body, and I will establish his kingdom. ¹³ He is the one who will build a house for my Name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever. ¹⁴ I will be his father, and he will be my son. When he does wrong, I will punish him with the rod of men, with floggings inflicted by men. ¹⁵But my love will never be taken away from him, as I took it away from Saul, whom I removed from before you. ¹⁶ Your house and your kingdom will endure forever before me; your throne will be established forever.' "

GOD KEEPS HIS PROMISES:

The Lord was with David. (v 9)

He didn't leave when David sinned. (v 9)

He has made His name great. (v 9)

Solomon was King and built the temple. (v 13)

Jesus came. From the lineage of David.

Born in the "town of David."

And His reign in forever. (v 16)

GOD KEEPS HIS PROMISES. The above verse was prophecy 3000 years ago and it has clearly been fulfilled. God keeps His promises despite our sin or what we do. David was unworthy, but the only reason we know his name today is because of the mercy of God. Not by His righteousness, but because the Lord keeps His promises. The Matthew 1 genealogy account says, "David was the father of Solomon, whose mother had been Uriah's wife (the man David had killed)..." Matthew is even reminding us in the early chapters of the gospel that David sinned and was unrighteous; yet, he is also reminding us that the Lord kept His unconditional promise.

God isn't hard to find.

2009-12-11T09:44:00.000-05:00

I remember sitting in my 9th grade english class learning about Greek mythology. From Zeus to Poseidon, we learned all about them. I studied so hard for those fill-in-the-blank tests and memorized all that I could. We did book reports and dressed up as the characters we read about. While it is great to know about the Greek Gods from a literature standpoint, I've begun to think that our view of God might have been affected in the process. The prideful Greek Gods were cruel to the people... they punished them, embarrassed them, and never cared for them. They were too selfish to care for anything other than their own power, wealth, and self. They were indifferent.

But that's not our God. What a surprising way to describe God... A God who pursues us. He is on a quest to follow His Children until His children follow Him. Our God isn't hard to find. He seeks out the far off to redeem their heart.

He is NOTHING like the Gods we learned about in English class. NOTHING.

Just to get you thinking...

2009-12-10T10:22:00.000-05:00

What if God's only gift to you were His grace to save you. Would you be content? You beg Him to save the life of a parent or to give you an ideal marriage. You plead with Him to help you with be successful in your job. You implore Him to keep you healthy. What if His answer is, "My grace is enough." Would you be content?

From heaven's perspective, grace is enough. If God did nothing more than save us from hell, could anyone complain? If you have eyes to read these words, hands to hold a book, the means to own a computer, He has already given you grace upon grace.

Far off

2009-12-07T15:37:00.000-05:00

I spent the richest time with the Lord this morning and I heard Him speak to my heart in a new and fresh way. Tears came to my eyes as I remembered my salvation. In church yesterday, we talked about preparing a way for the Lord to "make the crooked straight and the rough places smooth..." (Luke 3: 1-6). He did that with my life. And my job involves watching the Lord make the crooked high school and middle school kids straight.

In Acts 2, the apostles preach that "the promise (to be saved and to receive the holy spirit) is for you and your children and for all who are far off." He choose not the righteous, but those who are far from Him. In Acts 9, He says this regarding Saul, "This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name to the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel." Why in the hell did he choose Saul? He was a murder and killed Christians. Couldn't He have found anyone else? Someone a little kinder and more civilized? Someone without such a past?

But then I start to think, why did He choose me? Couldn't He have chosen someone else? Someone who is better at Young Life and more gifted? Someone who is more dedicated to seeking His face? That is the beauty of the gospel. He has chosen the most unlikely people to be His. He has chosen me. While I was far off, He chose me and called me by name. And that same offer is available to everyone, even the Saul's of my world.

I'm alive

2009-11-29T13:49:00.000-05:00

It's Christmas time and I just put up our tree this morning. Mom and I ventured out to find the perfect tree in Cashiers, North Carolina, and I think we made a great pick.

But while putting up the tree today, I couldn't help but think about the cross. He was born to die. On a tree. We get so caught up in decorating that we totally forget the purpose of why we have the tradition of a Christmas tree in the first place. It is to remind us of the cross and the promise of life for us. I cannot look at my tree without thinking of the Lord's purpose for Jesus' birth. He died on a tree for me to have life.

Shane and Shane have a new song (http://www.imeem.com/artists/shane_shane/music/a5d-E184/shane-and-shane-im-alive/) and the words are so powerful, "You have resurrected my heart from the grave, and I'm alive." He has done just that. He has given us promise through His humble birth, "You will not abandon me to the grave... you have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence (Acts 2)."

katy

2009-11-25T18:19:00.001-05:00

I'm in Highlands, North Carolina for Thanksgiving, and I went on a hike today with Katy Crane (above is a picture us at football game my senior year at Auburn). Katy has been doing oversees mission work for the past year, and I loved being able to catch up with her. The Lord is moving in both our hearts in a similar way, and I just felt so encouraged being able to be with her. If you want to be challenged, read her blog: http://kwcrane.blogspot.com/.

Here is a thought she challenged me with today:

I told her I didn't think I was called to oversees missions. I told her confidently I was called to be in America and do ministry here. And Katy wisely said in response to me, "That's not truth. The Lord has called each and everyone of us SEVERAL times in the scriptures (Matt 28:16-20, Mark 16:15, etc.), and He has called all of us to the world." She spoke truth to me today.

We are called. To the world. What does that mean? Do I pray? Do I send money? Do I go? What does that require from me? What am I going to do about it?

thankful

2009-11-23T10:17:00.000-05:00

Mary Brantley, Lee, and I drove over to Birmingham for Laura's dad's funeral yesterday. It was a raining cold day, and I was thankful to get to ride with them. I was thankful for all of the people that came to support Laura. I about cried when we pulled up to the funeral home and 4 of our college guy friends had come. I was thankful for them. I was thankful that LeighAnn flew in from Miami. I am thankful that the Lord is somehow using this for His glory, and I am thankful for Laura and her courageous heart.

On the car ride over, we listened to a podcast from David Platt (Brookhills Church in Birmingham) about how the gospel demands RADICAL sacrifice. Here are the notes I took:

Am I willing to come to Jesus on his terms? Or do I flirt with Jesus on my terms?

We soften Jesus' words to justify how we live. The gospel demands radical sacrifices.

His terms:

We come to Him with a superior love, where every other love seems much less compared to my love for Him.

Do I want Christ?? Do I forsake all relationships for the one with Him? Do I count Him over my stuff? Christ is the only one worthy of superior love. We are far too easily pleased. He ALONE is worthy of it.

I don't count everything a loss when compared to Christ, but that is my prayer today. I am thankful to be reminded of this today. He is better and He is more.

What I do:

2009-11-16T21:23:00.000-05:00

So I video tape high school kids for my job. Yep, that's right.

I obviously do more, but lately that has become a big job responsibility of mine. I try to catch sports game, hallway interactions, club activities, and any awkward situation I can find. I hate being behind the camera, but I have ended up with the neatest footage of the kids I love. For those of you who don't have Facebook (ie. mom), here are a few videos that basically sum up a week in the life of a young lifer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovbkjL39RsY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Oh_0qSlHoE

I love what a do... it might be unordinary and even bizarre at times, but it is perfect.

thankful

2009-11-06T12:20:00.000-05:00

I was given tickets to "In the Heights" at the Fox last night by a family involved in Young Life. Jess and Sara went with me, and I was telling them in the car that we would probably be sitting up in the balcony. We went to will call, got our tickets, and walked through the front doors. We were told to go to "curtain C" to have them escort us to our seats. I gave the nice old lady our tickets, and she started to walk toward the stage. We followed, and to our disbelief, she lead us to the front of the theater. Our tickets were fifth row from the front in the DEAD center. I think all three of us about cried.

I have never enjoyed a play so much. Was it the seats? YES. Was it the play? ABSOLUTELY YES. I was telling friends that I might have a new favorite broadway play... I've been listening to the soundtrack all morning! Needless to say, last night was the highlight of my week and such a sweet treat. I am SO VERY thankful for the gift I received last night.

latter

2009-11-05T10:49:00.000-05:00

No matter where you live and what your day looks like, you have the choice each day to depend on yourself, to live safely, and to try to control your life. Or you can live as you were created to live- as a temple of the Holy Spirit, as a person dependent on Him, desperate for the Spirit to show up and make a difference. When you begin to live a life characterized by walking with the Spirit, that is when people will begin to look not to you but to our Father in heaven and give Him the praise.

I want the latter.

SharpTop is this weekend. Randy asked us this past Spring to pick a number for our school and pray that the Lord bring that many kids to STC this fall. I prayed for 40... I thought that was an impossible number, since it was doubling the kids we took last year. I checked the list this morning and including the leaders, we have 39. The Lord has been faithful. Please be in prayer for our Whitefield kids, pray the Lord touch their hearts and move in their lives. It is going to be a fun weekend and hopefully one they will never forget.

365 days later

2009-11-03T11:43:00.000-05:00

It has been a year since Sweet died. Here is what 13auburnfriends came up with. We just sent it to Ivy as a surprise :) I am speechless...

"Ivy, we thank God for the woman you are in each of our lives. Together as we look back over the the events of a year ago in remembrance and forward towards the future with hope, we pray that the One who gives us His light burden and easy yoke will hold you tightly in His arms. We trust that He will continue to shape you, grow you, and mold you into the incredible woman that He has created you to be.

We love you so much, Ivy. We are praying with you and for you. We rejoice in the Lord for the works He has done in and through you in the past year.

Grace and Peace,

13 Auburn Friends"

And here is Ivy's most amazing blog post today:

http://theladyinthestreet.blogspot.com/

full

2009-11-02T12:04:00.000-05:00

My heart feels so full. Reasons why this weekend has been amazing:

1) My roommates made me feel so special last night. They cooked an amazing meal all afternoon and wouldn't let me help with any of it. The only thing they let me help with was cleaning the bathrooms... go figure :)

2) My apartment was filled with 30 of my favorite people. I loved having people over... From Young Lifers to college friends to high school friends to old roommates, it was such a fun dinner. Leigh even left her newborn baby to come!

3) I watched Sara, Jess, Meg, Shan, and Ash go through the Haunted House last night. Others came too, but these 5 were out of control. I can't stop thinking about them running through the parking lot trying to get away from the monsters that were chasing them. It was hilarious, and I haven't laughed that hard in awhile. I was brave compared to them :)

4) I attended a great church on Sunday, and I met so many awesome people. A group of girls even invited me to breakfast and lunch with them. It was an answer to prayer.

5) I am currently substitute teaching a Drama class for Whitefield. It has been fun to be at the school on my actual birthday.

6) A Young Life mom has given me several concert tickets for "In the Heights" for Thursday night at the Fox Theater.

7) I went to a Halloween Party on Saturday night and had a blast. I was dressed as the "Swine Flu," armed with caution tape, a pig nose, and hand sanitizer. I typically don't feel super comfortable meeting new people, but I had a great time.

8) Auburn KILLED Ole Miss... so fun to watch.

9) I'm going with a big group tonight to feed the homeless. I'm really excited.

10) I walked into the office to see a balloon, 12 cupcakes, and cards. I have loved all of the emails, phone calls, and texts I have gotten all weekend.

11) Halloween (my favorite holiday) and my birthday in one weekend.

... it just doesn't get any better than this.

today.

2009-10-30T12:03:00.001-04:00

This is my thought/prayer today,

I don't want my life to be explainable without the Holy Spirit. I want people to look at my life and know that I couldn't be doing all that I do by my own power. I want to live in such a way that I am desperate for Him to come through. That if He doesn't come through, I am screwed. I don't believe God wants me to live in a way that makes sense from the world's perspective, a way that I know I can "manage" by my own strength. He wants to take my timid heart and set it ablaze with strength and courage, so much that people know something supernatural has taken place.

How can I fully grasp this and live it out?

to my girls:

2009-10-27T13:42:00.000-04:00

Campaigner girls:

We talked about this song last night. We talked about not settling for being the part time girl in a guy's life. I pray this song over yall today. I pray for your husbands and future relationships. I pray you understand what it means to be valued and loved as Christ loves the Church.

Part Time Canter of His World

"He has time for you, but only when he is able

Only when it fits into his plans

So convenient he just keeps you in his stable

He holds you in the middle of his hand

You don’t like the way he is playing with your heart

But you are afraid to let him go and make a start

Don’t try to be his permanent temporary girl

Don’t let yourself become the part time center of his world

Says he loves you but he never has an hour to talk about the questions in your mind

Your heart tells you that his promises are shallow

You know love that would somehow find the time

Something tells you that if he treats you this way now

He will not change because he simply takes a vow

Don’t dare to be his permanent temporary girl

Don’t let yourself become the part time center of his world

You know you desire a love that is unfailing

A love that bares resemblance to the cross

If you are blinded by your sense of desperation

You will fill the void regardless of the cost

He is not the one you have prayed about

Don’t you think he is one you are better off without

Don’t dare to be his permanent temporary girl

Don’t let yourself become the part time center of his world."

called

2009-10-26T10:58:00.000-04:00

I can't stop thinking about these links below. The Lord has been doing things in my life this fall that I cannot explain. I have no explanation for the hard things. I have no explanation for all the good the Lord has done. But I do know He is faithful, and He is stirring my heart for something, something big. I want to be apart of His big plan, and I want to be apart of it no matter the cost.

This is a blog about a girl from Nashville that left for Africa for the first time when she was 16. This post shares a brief history of her journey:

http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/2009/08/it-is-my-16th-birthday-and-i-am-eating.html

This is a story she just posted recently that Erin sent to me over email. It brought me to tears... amazing.

http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/2009/10/full-circle.html

May I be faithful. May the Lord send me wherever. And may I obediently go. He is best. His plan is best. I want more.

love letters

2009-10-20T12:25:00.000-04:00

My grandmother passed away yesterday. It is a sad time for my family. My grandmother had been sick for some time, but it is never easy when the death finally approaches.

A few weeks ago, my aunt and cousin found love letters that my grandfather had written my grandmother. They (all 150 of them) are the most precious things I have ever read. I never knew this side of my grandparents, so I have loved reading them and imaging them when they were young. They were not married at the time and were not in the same city, so they had committed to writing each other everyday. I might get in trouble for this, but I took my favorite letter. It is beautiful. The end is my favorite.

"My Dearest Sweetheart,
I received a letter from you today that was written on green stationary. What is that a sign of? Blue means love, white means something too, but just what does green mean? Oh, I know that's the sign of jealousy. No kidding, my Darling, I always want you to be a little jealous. I guess you know that I am?

I really did like the letter you wrote yesterday. You told me things I always like to hear and you put it in such a way that it really made me feel great for the rest of the day. My Darling, I love you for your self, your blond hair, your cute little face, the way you dress and talk and walk. I love you for your purity, in both mind and action, for your tears, smiles, laughs, and frowns. I love you as the fish loves the sea and the birds love the sky. You are part of me in my every action. I eat, sleep, and live for your love and only long for yours in return. You are my every desire and being, you are my life and without you I would be nothing. I love you, I love you, I love you (I hope you don't think this is corny because it is straight from my heart and I have never said it to another).

Daddy has been talking to me for the last few days about buying a lot on which to build. I really didn't take him seriously until today and then I decided that I would look around for one. When you come to see me again, we'll look together and pick what you like. Is it a date?

I know this will probably be hard to pull but I would like you to try to get off some Friday soon and come see me again...Play sick, play anything but hurry and catch that 10:30AM bus for Mobile. Tell your mother I said to pull a few strings for you, she's a big wheel around there. Come on now, I won't take no for an answer.

We were at the supper table tonight and Larry brought up the subject of girls and said that he had a date tonight. Betty asked if he were pinned because he had been going with this same girl for some time... Mother came in then and said if he were to get one as cute and as sweet as you he'd really be doing ok. Just like I told you before, Baby, you're in like flynn...

About all the news, my Darling, and I say again and again that I love you with all my heart, soul, mind, and being. Be good, be sweet, be mine for I am yours.

Yours always and a day with love,
Wallace

P.S. I love you."

I love picturing my grandmother this way. I love that I found this. Why don't boys write like this today?

God's Will for my Life

2009-10-19T10:50:00.000-04:00

How many times have I said that I wish I knew God's will for my life?

I can't stop thinking about the future. Am I suppose to move? Am I suppose to be a Young Life intern? What am I suppose to do this summer? I realized this morning though that it is much easier to think about God's will for my future than it is to ask Him what He wants me to do today. By focusing on the future, I miss Him today. The desire to know His will for my life is birthed in fear and is my attempt to avoid what He wants me to do currently. Dwelling on the future is safe and excuses me from faithful living now.

His call is for me today to consider everything a loss to knowing Him. He is better. To submit and to give everything to Him is radical and terrifying. However, walking in my own wisdom, and not letting the Spirit lead each day, is even more frightful. I want to stop dwelling on following God in the future and to start listening to what the Spirit has for me today.

News/Praises/Prayers:
** Baby Caroline Pattillo Phelps was born this morning at 4:23am. It is the first baby for the 13auburnfriends group. I can't wait to hold her.
**I am still lacking a computer. Apple, fix it already.
** Praying for the Godfrey's, especially Randy. Jess' Grandmother passed away on Friday.
** We got our Young Life summer camp dates. Needless to say, it is going to be an action-packed summer and is maybe going to be more busy than the last one. I am still waiting to see if I get an assignment though... I hope so!
** Dad is still on his honeymoon in Italy. He sent me a text today and told me he learned to make gnocchi (my favorite type of pasta). I am jealous.
** Went to the lake this weekend and had a blast. Here is a picture:

really, God?

2009-10-07T13:26:00.000-04:00

The Lord has used my friends.

Laura sent this to me this morning:
"You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the fields will clap their hands. Instead of the thornbush, the pine tree will grow; instead of briers, a Myrtle will grow. And this will be for the Lords renown; an everlasting sign for all who believe."
Isaiah 55:12,13.

I love knowing that this is the fashion in which God leads his people. I love envisioning nature rejoicing as we are led forth by Him. And I CLING to the hope that He is producing something more beautiful, more grand, and more stable in me...where there was once an unpleasant thornbush.

Anne sent this to me this morning:
“Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts as rest in His presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and He knows everything."
1 John 3:18-20

Leigh sent this excerpt from Matt Dean's blog this morning:
"How much clearer does the redemptive purpose of God shine through in our lives, when things get uncomfortable, unpredictable, uncertain... and in faith, we choose to exalt the One who has redeemed us in the midst of inconvenience.

My encouragement to anyone reading is this: Remember what is true. Recognize that even if your circumstances change. If trials come. When they come. That NOT EVERYTHING has changed. In all likelihood, what needs to change the most, is simply our perspective.

He is God. We are not.

He is Lord. We are not.

He is wise. We are not.

We make plans. He determines footsteps.

He opens doors. He closes doors.

He provides. He refines.

He calls. He redeems.

He brings freedom and joy.

He invites us into His unending story.

He blesses us through his purposes.

He fulfills His purposes through our lives.

He. Is. God.

Yes."

2009-10-06T15:43:00.000-04:00

Mary Brantley just sent this to me in an email. Wow:

"The sermon I heard last week also referred to waiting. It talked about the cloud that led the Israelites by day and fire by night. Numbers 9:15-23. When the cloud moved, they packed up camp and moved. When God moves, we must be willing to pack up camp and move, but what is so often missed is that sometimes the cloud hovered for months. Didn't move. It was in those days that the people must have begun to wonder if God was still in the cloud. If he was still leading them. If he was really there. God has given us something much greater than a cloud. We have been given his spirit. His tabernacle now lives WITHIN us. And it will lead. Sometimes we just need to wait at camp for a while, but still be ready to MOVE when He does."

I feel like I am on the brink of the Lord moving me somewhere. The Lord is changing so much in my life right now. I was reading my old journals last night. He gave me a verse in 2006 that I felt Him speak over my life last night, "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing (Isaiah 43)." He gave that verse to me in college when nothing in my life seemed predictable. Alot is going on now (three years later), but I am encouraged because I feel like the Lord is doing something. The winter is over and gone. He is instructing and teaching me on the way I should go, and most importantly, He is watching over it all. Him doing a new thing is not always easy and comfortable, but I am encouraged He is changing not only my life, but my heart as well. "Be at rest, oh my soul, for the Lord has been good to you (Psalm 116:7)."

Cranberry Apple Butter

2009-10-06T10:57:00.001-04:00

From my favorite restaurant in Atlanta.

So good on a hot biscuit:

Hardly an Everest of indifference

2009-10-02T11:10:00.001-04:00

I just finished "The North Face of God" by Ken Gire. I have been reading it since this summer, and it has brought so much hope to my life. There were times this fall I felt that the Lord has been indifferent to me. Not only silent, but unaware of my feelings and circumstances. This is the prayer at the end of the book:

"Thank you , Lord, that you are not an Everest of indifference, no matter how distant or detached you sometimes seem... Help us to believe in you, even when you are silent. And during those times you are silent, help us not to be. Help us to sing hallelujah, however cold or broken it may be."

If (and when) I picture God as an Everest of indifference, the enemy has won the battle for my heart. He is disoriented my thoughts. But Jesus left behind pictures that showed us who God is. A God who sees and cares. A God who listens and who speaks. Who touches and transforms. A God who came at the greatest personal cost to destroy the works of the devil. He is hardly an Everest of indifference.

waiting

2009-10-01T13:49:00.000-04:00

Here are some random notes/questions for our staff meeting that really stood out to me and where I am in my life:

**What miracle is God doing in my life? What is He preparing me for? Am I discovering these questions in solitude with Him?

**Sometimes waiting can lead to the greatest blessing, and it is in the waiting that we truly hear the Lord.

**Do I trust Him? Because hasn't He been faithful?

**The devil is in comparing. My story is different. And God is creative. How cool is that? How cool is it that my story will not look anything like my friends?

Also, Ashton sent this song, and I think it goes along perfect with all that I am learning:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bb7TSGptd3Y

It's a new day.

2009-09-30T10:17:00.000-04:00

I have this friend who is going through some tough stuff. Let's be honest, we all are going through tough stuff, but this is really tough. So how does 13auburnfriends respond? Erin sends us an email this morning and has written a song because she has felt so burdened for our friend. I really have no words to describe this. I have amazing friends who truly understand what it means to carry one another's burdens.

http://senduit.com/a4ae46

On a personal note, this fall has been tough. I have felt lost, displaced, unsettled, and unorganized... could I pick any more bad feelings? But for the first time in months, I feel a peace. I feel settled here in Atlanta, and I see the purpose of me being here. I still have questions about my future. I still have times when I think the easiest thing to do is quit full-time ministry and move somewhere far. But Im reminded today that I love my community here. This weekend is the first time SINCE JUNE that I am here in Atlanta without an agenda, just being with friends and my roommates. I've been so busy that I have forgotten what it means to enjoy life and enjoy where the Lord has me. I am simplifying things, too. I am ending things that need to be ended, and moving on with the things the Lord has for me. I am praising the Lord today that (finally) I am thinking clearly about who I am in Christ and what my purpose is.

It's a new day. Fall is in the air. I am feeling good. My life seems simple and easy again.

the Holy Spirit

2009-09-24T13:37:00.000-04:00

I've got Jesus. Why do I need the Holy Spirit? That was Francis Chan's question to me this morning in the new book I am reading. He said to imagine having Christ standing right beside you. Imagine the peace that would come from knowing I'd always receive perfect truth and flawless direction from Him. That sounds amazing and none of us could deny the benefit of having Jesus here physically.

Yet, why do we assume that this would be any better than the presence of the Holy Spirit? If Christ said it is better to for Him to go away so that another Comforter would come, why do we think the Holy Spirit is less important (and not the exact same being) as Jesus Christ himself?

We have been given the living God within us. I want to be different today from what I was yesterday as the fruit of the Spirit becomes more manifest in me. I felt the Spirit in my life last night, and I am thankful for His prompting and conviction. Christ said it is better for us that the Spirit came, and I want to live like I know that is true.

Turner's favorite things

2009-09-22T09:36:00.000-04:00

My favorite things for the month of September:

1). I have rediscovered honey.

2) A mom has offered to give me tickets to this play November 3rd through 8th at the Fox in Atlanta. I really hope she follows through with it :) Apparently, this is the play-to-see in New York City.

3) Bethany Dillon has a new CD that is fabulous.

4) This might be my favorite item. Francis Chan changed my faith wit his book, "Crazy Love" and I am excited to start his new book called "Forgotten God." He is writing about how the church and believers have forgotten the Holy Spirit. We try to live life without the Spirit's help and power, so we produce no genuine fruit. Needless to say, I am learning alot.

5) Hannah helped me pick out this dress in New York for my Dad's wedding. I am obsessed with it!

6) Magnolia Bakery in New York City is exactly the type of bakery I would love to own one day. They might have the best banana pudding I have ever tasted.

7) My favorite fall drink: a Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks. I rarely get them, but when I do, it is a great treat.

8). Hydrangeas are my new favorite flower.

Living faithfully

2009-09-14T10:21:00.001-04:00

In times of suffering, we always tend to ask the questions,

Why me?

Why, God? Why did you let it happen?

Why have you left me?

Where are you now?

How long before you say something?

While I think the Lord is big enough to answer these questions, there are times (most of the time) He chooses not to. And we have to be OK with that. Justice is God's responsibility. Living faithfully is ours. I'm learning that the question should not be those listed above, but instead, it should be,

Where is the faith that is due God?

Where is the love that is due Him?

Where is the honor?

The obedience?

We might never get why God does what He does, but we are called to faith. I want to honor Him in all I do, even if I never hear Him to speak to me again. I want to trust Him even if I suffer greatly. I want to walk in obedience, even if I don't feel like God has my best in mind.

Am I going to be good at asking the right questions? Probably not. But I pray today that I learn to love, honor, and obey Him through it all.

RIP Rudi

2009-09-10T11:50:00.000-04:00

I am not a huge dog person and I know it is lame to blog about your dog. But I am putting all of that aside today. Rudi died this morning. I am sad for my mom. She said to me today that he served a great purpose in our family, and I would have to agree. I admit that I cried thinking of him not being around anymore. Who knew it would be so sad to lose a 2 lb. little dog, who lets just be honest, was not sane, normal, or even friendly? We bought him at a gas station one Christmas from a lady in a van. Mom and I saved had to save him from choking just a few months ago. He slept 20 hours a day and shook when anyone came near him. He was odd, but he will be missed. He was a good companion to my mom when I was not at home anymore. Despite all of his quirks, I am very thankful for him.

NYC, baby!

2009-09-09T10:24:00.001-04:00

Favorite pictures from this weekend:

Needless to say, It was a great weekend. I am trying to recover and get back into the grove of things at home. I think the biggest blessing in my life is my friends, and I know I would not be who I am today without their encouragement, HONESTY, and truth in my life. They point me to Jesus, and I couldn't be more thankful for that alone.

And to be true to what 13auburnfriends typically does, we video taped the whole weekend. Here are some of my favorite discussions:

today.

2009-09-03T09:43:00.000-04:00

Today. The day before vacation. Sitting a work. It is raining. Five things are on my mind.

One: I am so excited about tonight. I arrive in New York at 8:59 pm. It is time for my annual trip to NYC. Erin, Hannah, and Anne are my travel buddies, and I couldn't be more excited about being with them. There is something about that city that I crave. And there is something about those girls that is so special. They are some of the clearest examples of Christ in my life, so I know our time together will be encouraging and life-giving. I am eager to get there.

Two: My grandmother is dying. She has chosen alcohol as her crutch and is drinking herself to death. I am in the process of writing her a letter. There are a lot of things I need to say to her, and I don't want to miss my chance. Do I think she is selfish? yes. Am I angry with her? of course. But do I still love her? absolutely.

Three: My computer sounds like a train. I can't concentrate because it makes such a loud noise. I am assuming it is on its last day. Oh man. I wish money grew on trees because the last thing I need to buy is another computer. Ugh.

Four: My dad is getting married. October 10th is the day. I am so excited for them.

Five: God is good. It is crazy all the Lord provides for His children. He asks us to step out in faith, and He will take care of the rest. Matt's life is such an example of that.

http://mattdean.blogspot.com/

personality.

2009-08-30T15:55:00.000-04:00

I took a personality test a few years ago when I started working for Buckhead Church and stumbles upon it today. I am pretty amazed at how accurate it is, both good and bad. My top 5 strengths are as follows:

Communication

Responsibility

Individualization

Activator

Woo

What does that mean? According to the booklet of results, I like to explain, describe, host, speak in public, and write. I take ownership of anything I commit to, and I cannot let it go (even if it is driving me insane) until it is finished. "I get it done" as my area director likes to call it. Apparently, I am aware of individuals and I am able to pick up on his/her strengths/likes, making me a great birthday gift picker-outer or a good encourager. I am the first to take a step of action to get something started. There is no "slow" button; I either do things fast or don't do them at all. And I am a wooer... Finding new people and winning them over.

This is me... plus or minus a few things. Wouldn't you agree? Who knew personality tests could actually be right? I am amazed.

You can take one:

http://www.similarminds.com/

Shrewd

2009-08-27T10:07:00.000-04:00

In our staff meeting yesterday, we were asked what it meant to be shrewd. Luke 16:1-8 uses shrewd in a positive light. To me, shrewd means being wise and using your resources (time, money, etc) to the best of your ability. For my ministry with Young Life, shrewd means to know kids names. It means studying my yearbook so I don't forget their name the next time I see them. It means initiating conversation with them in the halls of their school. It means being available, even if I have to drop something else I want to do. It means being wise with how I spend my money. It means being a person who is more concerned with giving than receiving. It means being wise (not lazy and fearful) with the talents the Lord has entrusted me with. It means showing up at their school everyday.

The discussion on being shrewd opened up another thing I realized about myself. I become so regimented in my day-to-day stuff that not only do I become numb to what is going on around me, I get mad when I am interrupted. It is easier for me to turn my heart off to get my list of things done; I put myself on auto-pilot and run through my day. I went into my summer completely numb. I was exhausted and had nothing left to give, so instead of engaging my heart, I tried to just get through the days feeling as little as I could. I wasn't being shrewd. It is easier to have the "just get it done attitude" than to engage my heart and be purposeful, discerning, and keen.

I need to be shrewd to be with kids and I want that in my life, so my prayer today is that the Lord teach me how that is suppose to look. I don't want to walk through life feeling numb. I want to be shrewd.

I am pursued

2009-08-23T19:58:00.000-04:00

There is a song I discovered this summer and I kept it on repeat all of Western Tour. My favorite lyrics are below:

"Let me know that You have loved me first
Let me know the weight of my response
For You have long pursued my wandering heart
I choose to glory in Your cross
I will choose to glory in Your cross."

I was reminded of this song this week. I was reminded through the pursuit of a man in my life of the Lord's pursuit for me. The Lord has pursued my wandering heart and does so on a daily basis. I am humbled because I am unworthy of such love. He fights for me, takes care of me, and provides for me. There are times in my life that I forget that, but I have been sweetly reminded. I am thankful to be pursued.

The North Face

2009-08-18T13:42:00.000-04:00

I am reading the most amazing book by Ken Gire called "The North Face of God."

In short, the book is about finding God when He seems far away and unreachable. All of us have times in our lives when we have asked God questions, but we get no response. It feels as if God has abandoned us and the silence we feel makes us angry and hurt.

As David does in the Psalms, I started to remember my history with God. Do I remember those times God expressed His love for me so clearly? Do I remember those gifts He gave me? Those memories? Those words? Do I remember how He led and embraced me?

How could I forget...

When He told my I was "His bravest."

When He provided me with the sweetest friends in college.

When He gave me tangible signs to help with my transition to Atlanta.

That He delivered me from my old self and set me apart.

That He has given me so many opportunities to be at Whitefield.

That He delivered my mom from her past and sickness.

That He had a good plan for me in the midst of breaking my back.

When I heard Him say, "I know" amidst the craziness this past Christmas.

That He provides women of God in my life when I need them the most.

When He taught me about who I was in Him at an early age.

That He orchestrated everything with Young Life.

That we had 60 kids at our last YL club.

That He pursues my heart daily.

He has gone before me in all of these things. He might seem distant, but He hasn't changed. And neither has His love for me. It may not seem to be there, but it is. This was my prayer this morning,

"Let me hear of your unfailing love

each morning,

for I am trusting in you.

Show me where to walk,

for I give myself to you."

talent

2009-08-14T10:46:00.000-04:00

This is my best friend. She is more than talented than she thinks she is, and I am so proud of her.

http://jrawlingsphotography.wordpress.com/

But let's just be honest, all of 13auburnfriends is ridiculously talented. I am blown away on a weekly basis by all of stuff (blogs, movies, cakes, photos, logos, songs) they come up with. And not to mention talented, but they are the wisest group of girls I know. I think I called Ivy 6 times yesterday :) I don't think a day will ever come that I will not be thankful for 13auburnfriends.

a heart that adores Him...

Southern Weddings!

Video is in!!

Photos are in!

Mrs. Eleazer!

another.

little touches...

Home Sweet Home (in 101 DAYS)

flash backs:

Date set!

Big News!

3 days

Happy 4th of July!

Hannah and her boy...

BiG

Old and New:

St. Pete

Moving!!

Palm Sunday.

He does exist.

This time last year?

Legion

Love this passage in Luke 8:26-39:

Jesus asked him, “What is your name?”

“Legion,” he replied, because many demons had gone into him.

life lately...

Ministry of Presence

nothing

school again

my life in the summer of 2010

Africa

truth

uncertain

radical

wisdom

Tozer

gaurdrails

worry

Carlos

2 things:

On Palm Sunday

video

famous

Jenni

suffering

Luke 15

singleness

obedience

interview

purity

king

sweet and bitter

windy gap

thought:

this week

restless.

pictures by Jess

BFF

light.

hannah

Everyone set your DVR's! It will be on HGTV this Saturday at 2:30 (1:30 central)! So proud of her!!! Here is more about her episode of First Time Design:

http://www.hgtv.com/first-time-design/kid-friendly-living-space-with-fresh-modern-vibe/index.html

passion

2010

hark!

history writing

perfect timing

gospel of GRACE

Top books I've read in 2009:

hannah

Rachel and Ryan!

peace

king David

God isn't hard to find.

Just to get you thinking...

Far off

I'm alive

katy

thankful

What I do:

http://www.hgtv.com/first-time-design/ki
d-friendly-living-space-with-fresh-moder
n-vibe/index.html